She is everything to me...

allyofhereyes @ 2007-01-24T20:56:00

2007-01-25T04:56:43Z

Wow I forgot I had a livejournal but then I remembered. neat.

allyofhereyes @ 2005-02-09T19:10:00

2005-02-10T03:11:10Z

I forgot my livejournal existed. ooops. hello everyone.

life is busy of late. baby is due in a month. freaking out. work is hectic but i have made my way off of the higher-ups shit list. so i'm not pulling shit duty anymore.

allyofhereyes @ 2004-12-21T13:33:00

2004-12-21T21:35:31Z

Long time no update. I'm doing okay, still fighting Vanessa toothandnail for everything I want for our baby; she's being really unrealistic. I'm looking into a job in Granada Hills which pays a bit more and might not involve as many 'mopping up brains' duties as my current one.

oh my god, i'm so emo

2004-12-10T06:25:50Z

I want to die; I've been accused of being... emo!

Someone, please, help me.

I am on a fifteen minute "lunch" break (at 10:30 at night, go figure) then its back to the beat.

I'm a frickin. loser.

allyofhereyes @ 2004-12-03T14:34:00

2004-12-03T22:35:32Z

I'm so exhausted. I just want to sleep for a week.

why do people have to steal shit? and also why do people have to have car accidents? get a grip, human race. learn to drive.

i'm so happy

2004-11-26T07:03:02Z

yeah buddy. the a-train is chugging.

i get way too excited about having had sex, its really juvenile of me.

who fucken cares... i get laid, me happy.

allyofhereyes @ 2004-11-11T18:49:00

2004-11-12T02:51:22Z

I got that picture of gir from space_meat
I believe she made it herself how cute.
I'm off to do something what? i do not know. i'm a little drunk so i shall not be driving nor shall i be calling anyone because id id that a few nights ago and that was a badbad idea. although i did get laid a few nights gao, it has not proven to make me as happy as i thought it might. probably cuz i know theres no chance of anything more w/her. bittersweeet. sweeeet.

allyofhereyes @ 2004-11-07T15:45:00

2004-11-07T23:46:14Z

Well I solved the no sex problem. Booyah!

Stay Clean for Halloween!

2004-11-01T08:07:52Z

I spent the last 12 hours hanging out with kids and young adults bobbing for apples, dressed as Satan. I need to get high. I need very very badly to get high. I won't, of course, but hosting a "drug free Halloween" party makes me crave something... boot black tar heroin, anyone? *twitch*

And my entire apartment reeks of pumpkin. Fuck you, Holly, I found the innards you left in my bed. I'm going to get you for that.

I think this quiz is for chicks but I'm bored

2004-10-28T04:14:26Z

You represent... desire.
You sure are motivated. You have a definite knack
for getting what you want. You always put your
own interests before those of others, and you
almost always find youself being satisfied.
Though you have determination, try some
compassion. Putting others first occassionally
can get you even more satisfying relationships.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

I think this quiz is for chicks but I'm bored

2004-10-28T04:12:14Z

I think this quiz is for chicks but I'm bored

2004-10-28T04:11:19Z

allyofhereyes @ 2004-10-21T16:50:00

2004-10-21T23:51:36Z

I'm trying to get better at this update thing but I have not much to say. Work... work... more work. trying to think of baby names. Not having any sex at all... which is really starting to suck, it must be said.

work and feed

2004-10-20T21:47:09Z

I stopped a guy last night who had The Time Machine in his back seat, and I forgot how much I love that story. So I ended up talking to him about it. I still gave him his ticket, which I think surprised him. So many people assume that because your stoppingh officer is nice to you he's not going to ticket. Unfortunately thats very much against department policy so I can be a perfect gentlemen while condemning you to traffic school. I do have to make sure i'm not too friendly especially now I have the nazi guards on my ass all the time.

Vanny just got an ultrasound and we're pretty sure its a boy. I did go with her to the appointment which probably violates our agreement but I don't care. I have some rights or I should at least.

allyofhereyes @ 2004-10-15T20:40:00

2004-10-18T05:43:02Z

here's hoping space_meat
wasn't eaten by Shamu.

In other news I am ridiculously tired. I've been on desk duty for nearly a month because of a little...issue...i'd rather not discuss. Yesterday we had
what gary likes to call an excess of stupid crime, so they put me back out, and I ended up spending the whole night processing paperwork for a
car accident and some stolen wallet, lost cell phone, etc. I hate people.

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self improvement is masturbation

2004-09-19T23:17:59Z

Ive had a migraine for a week. Then we had a suicide threat which ended pretty badly. The guy didnt die, he just royally fucked himself up. Sometimes I hate my job.

allyofhereyes @ 2004-09-19T16:14:00

2004-09-19T23:17:24Z

Ive had a migraine for a week. Then we had a suicide threat which ended pretty badly. The guy didnt die, he just royally fucked himself up. Sometimes I hate my job.

Lunch break

2004-09-10T18:31:37Z

I've been pulling 15 hour shifts the last few days, which is killing me. But yesterday I met this really awesome girl, she came in to the station to turn in a wallet. Who even does that anymore? I was later told she was flirting with me but I didn't catch it. Oh, well.

So I've decided that....

2004-09-06T02:24:01Z

So I've made up my mind that despite the fact that we're going to have a child together, I will never marry Vannessa Cathry. She's selfish, jealous cruel, and violent. I don't need to spend the rest of my life constantly looking over my shoulder, watching my every move to make sure I don't set her off. Unfortunately I am one of those constant couple people whos never been single (or at least not having a sex friendship) for longer than 2 months. Once I break up with one girl, I immediately start looking for another. Convientely enough, there's one I like already in my life. Problem? Well, she's not too into the thought of dating me. We had a friends with benefits relationship last year, and then her boyfriend passed away, who was my best friend. So spending time with me wasn't high on her priority list until she moved home and I decided I didn't want to be a dick to her like I had been. I don't expect her to drop her grief or anything, and immediately jump in the sack with me--besides which, just having her friendship is wavering right now. She's either at a strange place in her life, or I am, because we're more on and off than we ever were before; even as friends. Last night I spent about 20 minutes with her outside her house, I wanted desperately for her to come out with me and get dinner or go watch TV at david's in mohave, or something. But her dad was being an asshole, so she couldn't go out. I was seriously bummed, and I don't really know what came over me, but I kissed her. I had promised I was going to respect her boundaries, one of which is that we don't make out or anything else--but apparently she tossed her boundaries too, because we got into it. I don't know how she feels about it now of course, because she's avoiding me--and the topic--like the plague. But I felt really good; I expected I would feel like I was betraying barry but I didn't feel that way at all. She probably did feel that, which is why she's being so flighty about it. I really felt something was. kind of, right. In a manner of speaking, like it made perfect sense that we be kissing each other. I don't know. I'm confused.

I've been waiting for this to unfold; The pieces are only as good as the whole

2004-09-02T20:34:30Z

I am lonely. I hate being all fucking emo and stupid and whiny and angsty--I'm a 28yearold man, I don't need to wallow in fucking teenage angst bullshit. But I'm having a high school throwback or something. it must be hanging out with holly, since she's young. Or maybe its because I'm going to have a baby (well, I'm not, but--oh forget it) and I'm thinking about the huge-ness of that. And pondering anything that big for any length of time is bound to make anyone angsty, maybe?

I'm so tired

2004-08-25T21:53:49Z

I just pulled an 18 hour shift. Talk about a bitch. I need to get some sleep, I just wanted to update to my loyal readers... holly and vanny, that is... that I am alive. Just tired.

allyofhereyes @ 2004-08-20T18:24:00

2004-08-21T01:25:19Z

And there's Barry, at about 18 or 19. When we first got an apartment together. He changed so much. And he's not wearing his glasses

allyofhereyes @ 2004-08-20T17:06:00

2004-08-21T00:08:18Z

Okay, this is of the guys when we went to amsterdam. It's actually my 21st birthday or around. I'm in the forefront there, with the blue shirt. Barry is visible beneath the stem of the giant drinking glass. he was only 15 at the time.

And the pickles...

2004-08-21T00:03:03Z

The most depressing thing just happened. I was going through a shoebox to find my presciption for my glasses, and I found a bunch of pictures of us guys from the past. Including some of barry. It really sucked to find those. I actually cried, for the first time since he died. As a cop, you know i see a lot of suicides, murders, basically i'm up to my ears in death and destruction and the horrible side of human nature. and i knew barry, like a brother, since we were kids. he was always the little nerd in the corner and i was the big tough guy, nearly 7 years older than him. but something about that scrawny little kid and his messy hair just hooked me, ya know. i loved him like flesh and blood. so i wasnt honestly too surprised when he killed himself-if you knew him, you knew he was headed for some kind of destruction. but it did hurt. I just managed to push it back, ignore it. run from it basically. but i'm full of memories now, and i'm having a tough time dealing with this.

I'm gonna upload the pics and put them on my next entry. i guess i can only do 2. suck

Balls

2004-08-19T20:05:08Z

My job sucks balls. I'm hungry as balls. Balls, balls, balls.